I've spent four years writing and honing The Falling Sun. Last night I had a random panic that one of my characters was not sufficiently developed.
Yep, around midnight last night I was lying bed, unable to sleep, and a thought suddenly hit me - "Yurushi lacks agency!"
Naturally, I panicked and replayed in my head the chapters in which Yurushi appears, looking for moments where I could build her backstory or develop her motivations. I try to avoid spelling out a character's reasoning for doing things. This particularly suits Akira's narration, for he only knows the mind of his parents; knows only what they told him. He can speculate, but to omnisciently dive into a sub-character's mind would be beyond his powers. Therefore, in the eyes of some, characters like Yurushi can be seen as enigmatic.
I've spent this morning realising that this is a clever excuse that ignores the problem. Yurushi IS a relatively passive companion. What my midnight mayhem failed to realise, however, was that there is a reason for this.
Abandoned by her lover, Yurushi shuts herself off from the world. She is frightened that getting too close to her friends, to the excitement, will result in her being scolded. This is implied in her reluctance to join the Independence Day celebrations, and in her silence during the strike. She has been hurt before and merely wants to get through life without the hardship.
After a few tweaks, I believe this is successfully (but subtly) conveyed.
Nevertheless, last night's drama reminds me that writing something for so long consumes you. You've spent so many hours dedicated to it that you want it to be perfect. You become paranoid that something is wrong and see problems that either don't exist or require minimal fuss (which you perceive as the manuscript's annihilation.) It's in these moments that you need to turn to someone else. As I shall be.
Tomorrow I'll probably change my mind.
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